So you think the Raëlians are crazy, eh?  An insane cult that thinks that Buddha, Jesus and Plato were space men.  Ezekiel’s wheel was a flying saucer. The burning bush as a holographic projection of God, “Help me, Moses-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”  Yeah, they’re crazy.  Crazy like a fox, or a den of foxes; whatever.  Fact is, they know the truth and it is only your perception that has been warped to scorn the enlightened.

Due to the breed of aliens that live on and in your skin, Scientology has studied this phenomenon extensively, every time you have a reaction to hearing or reading the truth and your mind says, “that’s ridiculous,” that’s just those aliens talking.  You see, the notion that you believe your cultivated reason is discriminating fact from fiction is exactly what you’ve been programed to think. 

More to the point, your entire formal education and pursuit of side interests is the compulsory mis-data that you’ve accumulated as the continuing ends from a means of deception.  You wrongfully believe that your unique understanding, unique like your individual finger-print that the skin aliens also carved, is the fruit of your supposed free will.  Oh, how wrong you are.

In this continuing series of articles inducting new Lodge initiates into the truth, you will learn more about the Raëlians, Scientologists, Knights Templar, the Aliens; the good ones and the bad, unicorns and, of course, the Lodge.  I will enlighten you to the ways you’ve been deceived and how you, too, can see the light.

In the meantime, you may wish to purge your skin using an E-meter, the instrument the Scientologists use to deport their skin aliens.  Though we at the Lodge prefer a more sensible instrument such as our Horn-of-Pan, supersonic nebulizer.

~Brother Marquis